Tonight on \'Cabin Pressure\', just for the record, there will be no further mention of \'white truffles\'. There. I said it.

But scorn me not. Cut me a little epicurean slack. Perhaps I was simply so full of cheap red cooking wine that I actually thought, while wading through the thick, verdant undergrowth at Hemlock Hill House, that I had stumbled across a grotto laden with the snowy toned delicacy. I assumed I had indeed discovered something special. A cache so deliciously gastronomic that people would travel from far flung lands simply to savour a morsel. To indulge... 
How, ahem, 'wrong' I was...